When I read back at who I was in the past, I really like that version of me 

I became so toxic and hateful during 2022-2023. It is so horrible. I really hate it. 

I need to cleanse myself and become pure again. 

Need another mountain expedition. 

The importance of intuition. 

YOGA

Today, I felt an overpowering need to go to a yoga class and so, I did. 

It turned out to be a 1-1 session, the first time ever I had that.

Started with deep breaths, and then the yoga instructor said to set the intentions about why I was there, and what do I want to feel before, during, and after the session. 

Said about, it is about being peaceful, it is not about the intensity, it is about the calm. 

Those hit me because recently I was thinking about what love should feel like.

At the end, she mentioned that yoga is a practice of peacefulness. 

That hit me again because they usually say it is about mindfulness instead. 

And peace was really what I needed. 

WALK

Then, I had an overwhelming urge again, to take a walk.

A long walk to clear my mind and calm my thoughts.

I walked from the yoga studio at Bugis, to Marina Bay Sands, to Marina Barrage.

Things that were very therapeutic for me:

The light pastel sky.

The little bird prancing into the grass. 

The water flowing and moving 

The city skyline amidst the sunset, and oh my gosh, the clouds look so dramatic.

BACK

When it was time to head back, I had two choices - Follow back the old path, or go a new one. 

Felt a sense of sian going back the old path.

And I felt a calling to walk along Gardens by the Bay instead and see new scenery. 

Just RIGHT when I reached the Supertrees, the Garden Rhapsody started and played a performance to the songs of Singapore. 

The performance ended off with the song "Home"

Where my dreams wait for me, where I will never be alone...

It was just so amazing and so beautiful. 

Somehow following my heart brought me to something that I really needed.

It was like a fucking calling. 

It felt like the universe was telling me that I am right where I am supposed to be. 

I am at the right place, at the right time. 

This is what is needed. 

The stars just fucking aligned.

I could have continued walking towards East Coast Park, but it didn't feel right.

I could have ignored the sunset, chose not to sit at the bench and admired the scenery, but it didn't feel right. 

I could have walked back towards Raffles Place, but it didn't feel right. 

I just did what felt right, and everything just ended so beautifully. 

And I will continue to do what feels right, and trust my intuition.  

Joven Chiam Wen Yong

Where should I even begin... 

I just don't understand how someone can be that much of a liar and manipulator

He keeps thinking that I am the one who keeps refusing to let him go, when I already told him face to face that okay I have already accepted the fact that we are different in our views and I am ready to part ways

Then the very next day he asked me to go JB with his family, kept texting me about the places they visited that reminded him of our previous JB trips, bought me my favourite eureka popcorn... told me to let him "slowly get back into the state of a bf..." like he literally texted that. And then the next moment, he can completely deny and say "noooo I never said that hor" and "when did I ask you to come JB"... wtf?

If he really wanted to end the relationship, then okay... Come to my house to celebrate my birthday for what?! I just cut cake with my family can already what. I wasn't even throwing a party or anything. 

At this point in time, I seriously think that he is a fickle-minded pathological liar. He lies not only on big issues but even for small things on a daily basis. Sometimes when I already know what happened and I have evidence on the facts, he can't even admit his mistakes. And he is damn hao lian, he keeps saying that his interview skills is damn good, where even if he doesn't like the role, he can say until people believe that he wants the role so much. LOLOL. 

In front of others, he just acts like a nice humble person. But omg, he is not humble at all!!! He keeps thinking that he is the most handsome person in SUSS and he wants to get into Standard Chartered International Graduate Programme for the glory (he literally said glory...) LOL

AND he keeps bombarding me about his anti-feminist views, about how females should serve the males. Like he completely agrees with Andrew Tate. But he will never express that on social media because he says that he is scared that he will get cancelled LOL

One might wonder, why was I even with a person like that? Well... He wasn't like that in the past when he had nothing to his name. Okay, he already had a habit of lying since the start. But it only got worse this year. This chauvinistic part of him only manifested AFTER he got accepted into the Standard Charted International Graduate Programme and got interviewed by Today Online. And the best part is... He says that he just have to sell people his sob story, and he can get in anywhere... LOL    

Then he asked me to financially support him until he starts work then he can provide a better quality of life for the both of us. WHICH I DID. When he has no money to pay his credit card bills, I transferred him. For Kyo's expenses, most of the time I paid 100%. When he incurred fines, I also chip in to help. When he has a donation drive, I am the first one to donate. For our dates, most of the time I am paying like 70%-80%. And then after that, he cheated on me. Thanks a lot. Even for his Bali trip, I transferred him some money to buy his hiking equipments. He said that he will transfer me back, but till now, nothing hor. NATO. No Action Talk Only. 

But it is okay!!! I believe karma will always find its way, even though it may manifest itself later in life. Like on 28 April, when he cheated on me to go on a date with Hazel Mak, he lied to me that everything will be back to normal with us and Kyo. He told me to "trust". And then on the other hand, he went to tell Hazel Mak that he was "appeasing" me LOL obviously he was having the time of his life lying away. Anyhoo, 3 months later, LTA sent him a letter and fined him $400 for crossing the red light on 28 April with 12 demerit points HAHAHA 

And on the very day that he went to climb Mount Rinjani, the summit was out of bounds for visitors due to an unfortunate incident. Like of alllllll days, it has JUST got to be that day when he visited. This is really called KARMA

Bye MCP. 

It's been long since I've written in this space, but I would like to dedicate this post to a girl called Hazel Mak Rou Wei from Singapore University of Social Sciences (SUSS).

I just simply cannot comprehend how one can be so thick skinned to throw themselves onto someone else's long term partner. Even when the guy had clearly told her that he wants to focus on his relationship, she could still be brazen enough to tell him that she misses him, and wants to hold his hand, tries to call him and still asks him to meet up. 

Well kudos to her for being so "tenacious" (as she describes herself on her Linkedin) but if one has no qualms about being a third party/ home wrecker, then it also means that they are unscrupulous and unethical right?  

Maybe she is taught that "there is no limit to what we can achieve" during her stint in Ninja Van and she thinks that she will be successful in stealing another girl's man lol I cannot believe that she even tricked him into downloading some app to share across her "H♡J" message HAHA what a sneaky little girl

I've really not met a girl who is so thirsty for attention and has such a strong desire to be wanted, such that she will group with all guys for a project, and then proceeds to name the chat group.....

Anyhoo, hope that with her "mindset for continuous learning", she would learn her lesson and not make the same mistake again. If Hazel cannot respect the guy's decision and the long term relationship that he has with his partner, at the very least, I hope that she can respect herself and have some morals to do the right thing. Despite all the hoo-ha and emotional damage that she has caused, the parties involved still wish that she will be able to find her own happiness, but of course to only go for what is available in the market because greed will always lead to one's downfall ☺