I need a manual to help me live by

Reading my previous posts while waiting for my drama to load, it is taking eonssss! 

My blog is almost like my diary but I've never re-read previous entries. After 2 years of blogging, I guess it's time to look back and see how I was like in the past hahaha.

I think I have become more dao, more 'dead' and more uninteresting? I don't know! I have to so much to say in the past, penning every single detail down. But now I don't even know what to say anymore! I guess I'm thinking too much now, checking my words twice, making sure my story flows right, that I don't sound overly weird or mean or enthusiastic. So that I don't get judged in a negative light, so that my life doesn't become miserable because of what I blogged.

Ohhhmygohonzon at times like this, I miss school. I miss how it's so safe. How I don't have to care about partiality. How my business is just my business, how if my grades are bad that is only MY problem. How there are always people to turn to when things go wrong, people that CAN protect us and WILL protect us. How I don't have to care about what's gonna happen next week or next month. How everything is already planned for me and all I have to do is just follow at ease, knowing that's what's best for me. How my 'work' is just sitting down and reading lecture notes while trying hard not to fall asleep and all I have to do is just move my eyeballs and my wrist.

How I wished there was a manual to help me live by. Or perhaps someone to guide me along


Aye, my drama should have loaded by now!